Who is in control over  emotions, thoughts and actions? What if I have no control over who is reading my blogs, which is most likely in this vitual world named the Internet. So, if there is no control and I can simply choose to spit out what is on my mind, or not… If you read it, the blogs are my explorations of the mechanisms of the mind, emotions and physical shifts seen from out a spiritual connected perspective. Since 1999 I work with Angelic magic to clear out the pain and suffering in human. Like the female version of Harry potter, only for a daily living, in the online world. Working from out my home office, with a lovely view, which is at Lake Lucerne, Switzerland.

Let me ask you, are you aware who is in control?

Who is in control over your emotions, your thoughts, and your actions? It should be you. If not, depending on your life and incarnational purposes, you have a road ahead of you of cleaning up the mess which allowed you that others have control over you. Mostly, this mess is not the result of this life only. It carries previous life core causes. Here you find a link to another source about this topic, Dr. Brian Weiss. If you have no knowledge of this, nor do you have full control over yourself. That is okay you know. Each Path begins with a first step, followed by another step and another step and so on. There are only a few people who are in full control of themselves, who are fully aligned, grounded and centered. That is not much when you think of it that mankind grows daily and we are already with 7,6 billion persons


Many might have the ego to state that they are in full control over themselves, but don’t let their delusions fool you. Personally, I think, or I believe that we as mankind are on the pathway to become aware of this topic and get our control back. It takes awareness and dedication to one’s own path of growth and evolution, to become whole again. Would this be the one and only path to make it a better world? I don’t know, my ability to foresee the future is limited to my own life. In there I see quantum leaps of inner development, but that doesn’t mean the whole world leaps with me.


If you want to answer the question of who is in control, you might also want to take a look of influences. The most common influences come via your family, friends, work, media. Less common knowledge is that we are also influenced by our Holy Guardian Angel, by our guides, by demonic species. These are not the aspects we are going to dive in during this blog. I will try to keep it simple. And by accompanying me in my daily drama’s and explanations we cover some essential steps.

Subconscious selves rule our world

First of all, if one had to look into the question about who is in control what is ruling a person. One must become aware that many statements via the media are made that the subconscious mind decides for 90%-95% of all the to be taken decisions in life. Though the conscious mind – the personality – as I prefer to address it, believes firmly that (s)he is the end decision makers, after all that done thinking how to decide. If one would believe that, which is told in the media, then getting to know the subconscious self is a wise time investment, would you agree with me on that?


I would like to take you on a journey of exploring and I ask you to decide for yourself what is your inner truth. And if your inner truth changes over the years, due to new gathered information, or a new cultural consensus truth, that is okay you know. Nowhere is written that one may never ever change their minds, God forbid if that would be the world. Then our exclusive right of free will would have been thrown in the gutter. And we should honor our rights of free will. This also requires that in each of us, at least for those who choose to within their incarnational purposes, must be mindful of developing inner compassion, empathy, understanding and accepting where others are in their personal processes of life.


I am one of those whose incarnational purposes forces me to explore certain psychological, emotional and spiritual aspects of self. For my partner and others, I meet this is sometimes provocative, confusing and plain annoying. One never knows when a hurt inner aspect gets touched and how the reaction will be. I can be one of those typical female drama queens. Even in the middle of a store. Can you imagine happening this to you? Well, this morning I experienced once again, how a typical over-expressive we are compared to the Swiss.

Example straight out of my daily life drama’s

Gerard and I did our groceries at the local supermarket. Getting the usual such as our biological celery to juice for both of us. We always get home with much more. At the cash register, I saw we had almost 50 francs. Our supermarket has a bonus system, when you spend for example 50 francs, you get 500 bonus points, which can be cashed in for groceries. Being brought up with the Dutch Expression “Wie het kleine niet eert, is het grote niet weerd” Which is a bit similar like “Who doesn’t appreciate the little is not worth the large” or “who will not keep a penny, shall never have many”, I duty full watch every Penny. This morning we had left the coupon in the car, thinking we would only get a few bunches of celery. I told Gerard to get the coupon out of the car, I would pick up something to make it 50. There were a few in line behind us. In a blink of we were in front of everybody in a quarrel. Which ended up he refused to let others wait for us, paid for the groceries. We were ignoring each other when walked to the car and I continued to ignore him while he drove us home. Have you yourself ever been in such a quarrel in public, for something stupid but both you and the others thought they were in their full right and felt embarrassed for the audience around you?


Well, this is a typical everyday example of humiliation. To be clear, for both of us it was humiliating. But how about the after reaction? I was giving him the silent treatment and he scoffed several times when he looked sideways at me, judging I was still angry and upset.

Skip judging, let’s take this under the microscope.

What actually occurred, but for what I had no inner space to perceive, is that in a split second I panicked when I saw the micro expressions of the clerk and the lady next in line. As a response to Gerard and me quarreling in Dutch, which the Swiss only partially understand. Not being able to get in touch with my inner emotions I covered the panic with anger. Not willing to make a huge scene in public I went to the next step, which is a denial of the issue and the other by giving him the silent treatment. While we were in the car back home, my inner guidance showed me that experiencing a split second of panic caused my reactions. Somehow panic is one of these things, these emotion triggering “thing” called panic, is a “thing” which I do not have mastered recognizing quickly yet. This info wasn’t enough for me to cease reacting and I kept my angry face. Once home I went straight to my office, aware that I had to create space for myself to get the situation clear. Step for step I recalled what happened. When did I push down that feeling of panic and why did I allow my anger to turn into a rage once home? What had been touched within me that anger turned into this silent rage while sitting behind my desk? My inner guidance asked me if I had noticed that my anger didn’t diminish, but that it even was fueled into a rage. I could feel it in my facial expression that this was trueI asked them if they knew why my anger turned into rage. From their perspective, they saw an inner bleeding of guilt and bleeding of humiliation caused in a past life, surfaced while being in this situation. Not recognizing this immediate, the bleeding emotions from that life, fled into my awareness here, and made me behave bitchy, seen fromout Gerards perspective.

My inner guidance fed me ‘point of view shifting’ questions

Which aspect of you has created a mechanism in which you feel allowed to react the way you do?” Euh, probably a stuck and hurt inner child aspect.  “And does it work for you?” No, it doesn’t. “Is the manner of reacting desirable for all concerned?” No, I have no benefit when I include others into a situation of humiliation. “Do you feel the way you responded is effective and offers you desirable results?” No, not at all. (I was getting annoyed by the time this question, realizing they led me somewhere) “So, you do not support your own behavior?” Not really.


I realized that my anger was withholding me to have breakfast, striving to avoid the situation that Gerard would join me. Of course, with the imaginative story in my head that we would talk to each other, that I would share way too early what caused my reactions, which he would reject with his typical sarcastic ‘Amsterdam humor’, and the last thing I wanted to feel right now, is feeling rejected and not taken seriously. So, with dropping blood sugar, which is no help for a good mood as you know, I sat there behind my desk, waiting for the story to unfold. Willing to break down this anxiety.


“So, let’s explore and become aware which self-aspect has been creating and approving this reactive mechanism of which that self-aspect thought it was crucial for your survival.” Aaah, you mean like Kelly Notaras describes in her book  how to talk with your hurt inner child which has turned into your inner critic? “Yes exactly, just do it in the boundaries of your own comfort zone.” While expressing here and now my gratitude to Ms. Notaras for inspiring me on this journey, I share with you the healing steps I just took.

Time to work with your hurt self-aspects, step by step

I connected within my inner realms with my Angels of High Magic (AoHM). If you would like the exercise for yourself, I advise you to connect with your Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) and have them connect with the Angels of the Higher Laws, they know each other. Let’s request the AoHM to create 2 concentric circles around the aura with a magical shield on the outside, so that whatever happens within is protected and confidential, with a magical shield on the inside, so I do not bother others with my personal processes.I felt inner guidance helping me to attune the self-aspect who had created this reactive mechanism, intended to be useful for my survival. I was attuning to aspects of the hurt inner child, and aspects residing within my subconscious selves. Slowly these hurt inner child aspects, which were hiding kind of formless in my subconscious selves, got form thanks to the co-tuning of my AoHM.Within the space of the concentric circles, these self-aspects became represented by a sort of moving magical statue. I commenced sending hello roses to this reflection of my own self-aspects. Sending hello roses from out my mind center, sending hello roses from out of my heart center, sending hello roses from out of my abdomen center, where the “Nefesh” resides. The moment you provide acknowledgment to self-aspects, it gets into motion. An important step to get yourself unstuck so to say.Once an awareness awakened which was enough to get into a conversation with this self-aspect, I got into this conversation with her, which of course is myself. As the mind is trained to have conversations with others, I allow myself to talk to this self-aspect as it is another. Is that okay with you? If you like, you can simultaneously while you read here, address your own hurt inner child self-aspects, test it for yourself if this method works for you.

Conversation with Self

“I have found this mechanism you once created for me. I have the sense you have created this mechanism to make me react in a way you saw fit for my survival.” Now become aware of her response while you address her. “You know, it might have worked for me when I was a child, but the thing is, I am grown up now, and for me now it turns out not to be effective anymore. Even worse, it makes me respond in a way, which is humiliating for me and others. It is not in alignment with the social expectations of someone of my age. So to me, this mechanism you’ve created is no longer useful in my life.” Allow yourself to become aware of how telling her this makes you feel and how it makes her feel. In my case she asked me how old I was, she thought I was 5 years old, indicating me how young I must have been when I created this response mechanism. I had to tell her that I am now older then my parents then, more like in the age of a grandmother, she was awed how old I am now.  “There you seem to be very effective in creating response mechanisms, shall we look together if we can create a modified, upgraded version, which suits me as an adult, which is aligned with my Highest Path of Destiny?” Allow your Guardian Angel to bring awareness to your hurt inner child aspects what the impact is of aligning it to your Highest Path of Destiny. Once she agrees, tell her to start right now, shall we?

Taking back inner control over yourself

During my own process, I noticed how healing agencies entered the space, activating a few Higher Universal Laws such as the Law of Identity and the law of Seniority. I felt strongly how the bar of seniority over decision-making shifted from my hurt self-aspects towards me as an adult today.  If you wish you can address your Higher Selves and your Holy Guardian Angel to get in touch with my Angels of high Magic and request them to activate now for you the Higher Universal Law of Identity and Seniority to assist you in your own personal process, aligned to your Highest Path of Destiny. If you do not like to be told which laws to use, then simply ask the Higher Universal Law of Precedence to be activated for you right now. That is a way higher consciousness then our daily awareness and carries the wisdom to oversee your whole life, your current personal process, and personal karma, and this Law of Laws knows exactly what Universal Higher Laws needs to be prioritized right now for you. I know, sometimes it takes a leap of Faith. So, do you trust your own Holy Guardian Angel?

Allow hurt inner aspects to grow up to total present time

While the seniority is shifting effortless, I requested my AoHM to allow theses self-aspects represented by this moving magical statue I was talking to, to grow up to total present time. I gave myself some moments to witness her growing up. It allowed loads of tension to be released. Give it a try for yourself, ask your Holy Guardian Angel to have you hurt and stuck inner child aspects which are now ready to receive, to grow up to total present time. Do you notice anything? A tingling down your spine, emotions coming up, thoughts calming down? All this is proof that something is set in motion, that inside of you something is shifting.

Allow a higher awareness to upgrade your mechanisms

Further, I request the AoHM to provide me with the tools so I can transform this outdated response mechanism, which used to be heavily guarded by these self-aspects, to total present time awareness, resulting in inappropriate behavior. I give this some time and allow it to be further processed during Dream state Healing for the next 7 nights. So, the healing can be completed into its fullest potential. Be aware of the responses of how your magical moving statue representing your inner child who has made these response mechanisms in the first place. Give it time to process. This is the methodology of having stuck and hurt inner child aspects growing up to total present time is something I have learned from. I use it regularly during healing steps. To me, this is a far better method to get hurt inner child aspects unfrozen and unstuck, then any other healing methodology I have come across till now. Partially this is due to the metaphysical nature of this process. It is not a mental thing. Or a reprogramming of Self. Of course, becoming aware is just a first step, and having a transformation to occur without effort is simply a beautiful way and magnificent tool. If you fancy your own methods and are convinced yours is more effective, do it your way. That is okay. I simply offer via these blogs metaphysical information others such as you might lack, and when information is missing, how can you reach new levels?

Bleeding Humiliation & Guilt surfacing due to this event

Besides this step, I was told by my inner guidance that this simple event had triggered a past life unprocessed event, which has caused a bleeding humiliation, which has an impressive effect on my current life. Together with some Healing agencies such as the Angels of High Magic, the Angels of Forgiveness and some other past life death moments healing spirits, I took a look into my past life issues, causing the bleeding humiliation, and the bleeding guilt, causing me to respond angrily, which later turned into this silent rage. The rage which was kept silent, there I had the awareness it is there with a reason, and it doesn’t have to explode and turn on others. Being in the phase of observing emotions instead of being overwhelmed with emotions, allowing them to take over, is already a huge step in life. Especially for a used to be, thick headed, hot-headed female like me. The karmic healing aspects are personal enough that I do not share them with the anonymous world of the internet if you don’t mind. It will be shared and trained to do it for yourself in training offered via my company Holistic Hellen.

Back to the question who is in control?

For that we have to do a sum up of levels of Mind, of awareness and consciousness, where our self-aspects reside.


Higher Mind                                                             Rational Mind


1st level Superconscious mind                               Subconscious Mind
(aka the Mind of Light)


2nd level Superconscious Mind                             Subliminal Mind

       (visionary level – mystical level)


Superconscious Intuition / Mind                           Subconscient Mind


Cosmic Mind                                                               Inconscient Mind

                                                                                         (resists change)


Here are layers of the Mind, levels of awareness labeled, this doesn’t mean you understand and comprehend fully what this encompasses. And once again the Universal rule applies, higher awareness perceives lower awareness, lower awareness cannot perceive higher awareness. Due to this rule, it’s almost impossible to facilitate (self)healing when you are in a lower state of mind or in a lower state of emotion. It is almost impossible to clear layers of shame when you are in a state of feeling humiliated as I described in the above-mentioned situation. Inner guidance helped me to raise awareness to ask me questions which brought me to another state of mind. Creating protective space wards of meddling from other beings. Which is very important when you ask the question who is in control, intended to become whole so you can become more in control over yourself in a natural, senior, authentic and vulnerable manner.


Much of our inner hurt self-aspects have more control over us than we might be aware of. Most of these aspects reside in the subconscious selves. Pushed down into our shadow sides as some tend to call it. Influencing past life information’s reside in other layers of ourselves. That is why I encourage to not only explore the subconscious selves, and also explore the Higher Selves, which we see as our spiritual nature. To me this makes sense being on a Holistic Healing Path.

Last Piece of Vital Information

We are reaching the end of this blog before you leave, I would like to offer you some last extremely important piece of information. Each time you meditate or do self-healing, stuff leaves your personal space. Stuff and rubbish which might have not been yours in the first place. After all, it all comes down to cleansing your personal space from trash from others, so there arises space for you to be you. What is this piece of information I am offering you right here? Emptied space, voids have by universal and metaphysical law the tendency to fill itself up with the matter. It is wise to fill it up with your own matter or information as it can be called, and not being trashed once again while you walk over the streets. Can you get this? Okay, then I offer you now one last step, a step you can do for yourself whenever you please. It offers you to become more embodied, more important it gives your auric field more body. Others perceive you as less fragile, when you do this over the course of weeks, or like me, since the year 2000. 

Golden Sun Fill up

Let’s imagine a nice big Golden Sun above your head Let’s call back all of our energies released and made available through space, place and time into this nice Golden Sun. Allowed it to be raised to its highest creative vibration purified. Call in Divine Grace, Divine Compassion and Divine Wisdom into this nice Golden Sun above your head. Let’s imagine how the energies from out of this Golden Sun flows down like a shower, filling your personal space completely. Filling up the top of your head, flowing down through your shoulders, arms, abdomen, and legs down through the grounding. Allow it to expand and allow these golden energies which are solely yours to fill up all our 7 major chakras, your aura layers in front of you, right of you, behind you, left of you, above you and below you. Allow the law of microcosmos macro cosmos to fill these energies in all of your subtle bodies, such as the entire etheric body, your astral body, your mental body, and your spiritual body. Having done this, you can thank your guides, your angels, your self-aspects for being with you during this healing, and request the healing space to be closed entirely, and with this, this healing comes to an end. And welcome back in the walking the street space. Till next time, take care of yourself, be gentle and forgiving to yourself and others, kind regards, Holistic Hellen

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